January weather in the UK

Well it is winter, so you should expect cold and damp conditions. 
In Dover the rough seas are causing massive hold ups on the motorways as lorries are stacked up.

not this type of stacking

Its stacking of lorries in a queue on the M20

The ferry's have trouble getting into port which causes delays and backups

Whilst in the North, especially in Scotland the forecast is high winds(112mph), blustery showers minus 12 degrees and snow on the hills

Not more wind , snow and sleet

Initially we were going to France on the 18th for two weeks, but this is put on hold until l get the results from blood tests.

We had also hoped to get on a cruise leaving Southampton on 7th February to go to the warmth of the Caribbean. But even though we have been tracking the availability the prices have just kept rising, instead of deceasing. Must be the weather in the UK stimulating a surge to get away from the cold and damp.
Never mind, would not have been able to go with my condition at present.

Real British call centre recordings. The last account is the best

can l help you ?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Customer:            I been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to Inquiries Department, can you help?'.

Operator:             'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer:            'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator:             'Sir, they are our opening hours'.

Samsung Electronics 

Caller:                  'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

Operator:             'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.

Caller:                  'On page 1, section 5, of the User Guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC  wall socket and telephone jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'

Operator:             'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'. 



RAC Motoring Services 

Caller:                  'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator:             'Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'

Directory Enquiries 

Caller:                  'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator:             'I'm sorry, there's no listing.  Is the spelling correct?'
Caller:                  'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'. 



Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. 

Operator:             'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller:                  'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland'.


Tech Support:      'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'. 
Customer:            'OK'.
Tech Support:      'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer:            'No'.
Tech Support:      'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer:            'No'.
Tech Support:      'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer:            'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------- 

There's always one.  This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time.  I think this staff member should have been promoted, not fired.  This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording, monitoring the customer care department.  Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.  (Now I know why they record these conversations!): 

Operator:             'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller:                  'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator:             'What sort of trouble?'
Caller:                  'Well, I was just typing along and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator:             'Went away?'
Caller:                  'They disappeared.'
Operator:             'Hmm, so what does your screen look like now?'
Caller:                  'Nothing.'
Operator:             'Nothing?'
Caller:                  'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator:             'Are you still in WordPerfect or did you get out?'
Caller:                  'How do I tell?'
Operator:             'Can you see the C-prompt on the screen?'
Caller:                  'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator:             'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller:                  'There isn't any cursor:  I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator:             'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
Caller:                  'What's a monitor?'
Operator:             'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.  Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller:                  'I don't know.'
Operator:             'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.  Can you see that?'
Caller:                  'Yes, I think so.'
Operator:             'Great.  Follow the cord to the plug and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller:                  'Yes, it is.'
Operator:             'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?'
Caller:                  'No.'
Operator:             'Well, there are.  I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller:                  'Okay, here it is.'
Operator:             'Follow it for me and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller:                  'I can't reach.'
Operator:             'Uh huh.  Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller:                  'No.'
Operator:             'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller:                  'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator:             'Dark?'
Caller:                  'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator:            'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller:                  'I can't.'
Operator:             'No?  Why not?'
Caller:                  'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator:             'A power ... A power failure?  Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

                            Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?'
Caller:                  'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator:             'Good.  Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.  Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller:                  'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator:             'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller:                  'Well, all right then, I suppose.  What do I tell them?'
Operator:             'Tell them you're too freaking stupid to own a computer!'